About to start 13C where
the timeline gets all wibly wobbly timey wimey as now it’s apparently January
in-verse (like in real time) when last we saw our characters it was Early
October (late November in real time) and everyone is all dressed in
Spring/Summer attire as this was presumably filmed over the summer…it’s Toronto
for Christ sake…there is weather…wardrobe WTF
Rant aside the episode
opens as Alli is running late for school as her mother stops her. She can’t
believe Ali is turning 18 the following day as Leo shows up with coffee and the
bad news that his transfer credits didn’t come through so he’s being deported
back to France and won’t be there to celebrate. Alli tells him he’s not going
they are going to figure it out.
WHATEVER IT TAKES
Maya is arguing with
Simpson about other alternatives to being put in remedial classes to make up
for her suspension…again let me eye roll over the fact that timeline wise this
would mean Maya’s been out of school for FOUR MONTHS which is highly
unrealistic unless later on they imply she went to Summer School or ends up
being held back to graduate with Frankie and Hunter if the show is still going
on at that point (then again nothing was said for all the time off Jenna missed
when she was pregnant, had post partem….) Maya only needs to check into the
special classes for homeroom and final period (though 90% of her class scenes
are in there) as Simpson assures her nobody gets stabbed in there. Maya enters
and is met with the likes of Grace and Tiny which affirm it’s not going to be
an easy ride.
Jenna is bouncing ideas
for Alli’s birthday with Clare and Alli however Alli is not into it as she’s
worrying about Leo, her life is over if he goes to Paris. Jenna suggests she
apply to go to school in France and let it go….let it go…but Alli says hell no
(yes read that in Idina’s voice)
Dallas wants to party with
Drew however he’s busy trying to work on a guest speaker series…he admits he’s
avoiding Clare and admits to Dallas about the kiss over Thanksgiving…again it’s
been FOUR MONTHS in verse despite being the next episode again let me sing….
Let it goooooo
Alli shows up at the Dot
to see Leo and have one last day of magic and fun before everything. Leo is
supposed to train his replacement but says he’ll go with her.
Maya is in the remedial
class where it’s assigned to do character interviews with one another where
they need to partner up and present as one-another. Maya is partner-less until
a wild Zig appears.
Drew asks Clare how things
are going before telling her he doesn’t think things are going to work…not with
his speaker series but with them. Clare is confused and Drew tells her he’s
letting her down easy after the kiss. Clare tells him he’s not her type and she
still loves Eli.
Leo and Alli are chilling
out in the ravine which they were doing all day. Leo says he doesn’t want to
forget them in the moment before proposing they break up before things get
complicated. He doesn’t want to have to worry about where she is or what she’s
doing and says it’s for the best as he hands her a flower and gives her a kiss
goodbye….but not really…in the middle of the night she receives a call from him
wanting to be the first to wish her a Happy Birthday and they talk…they were
supposed to be together forever and Alli soon has an epiphany…she’s legal now
so why don’t they speed forever up and have a green card marriage. Greeted by
Clare and Jenna and cupcakes when she arrives at school she tells them she
knows what she wants for her party and asks her friends to be Bridesmaids…they
think she’s gone mental…they are just looking out for her and tell her she’s
going crazy for a guy and she’ll be divorced in just as much time as she’s
known him. Alli is going to go for it anyway…
Maya and Zig are working
on their Q and A for class however Zig is being evasive and sarcastic making
reference to Hamlet.
Drew asks Dallas if he
likes Drew’s sideburns and Drew admits to Dallas how he wants Clare to want
him. Dallas thinks he’s pathetic and should find a rebound girl ASAP.
Miles and Tristan want to
go out with Maya however she’s complaining how she can’t go however she’s
paired with Zig making her rubber room assignment complicated. Miles asks who
Zig is and Maya says he’s nobody while Tristan says he’s Miles ex. Maya reminds
Tristan that though they had tons of flirtations and UST they never did
actually date. Miles promises not to get jealous despite Tristan saying Zig is
very much in love with Maya. Maya brushes it off saying Tristan just watches
too many teen soaps and it’s not like that in the slightest.
Alli and Leo are at city
hall waiting to get married however Alli comments how it’s not how she wanted
her wedding…no ring, no dress, no friends or family in attendance. Leo can fix
some of that and gives her a ring…Garnet, Alli’s Birthstone which confirms the
time jump that I will continually rant on.
Mr. Hollingsworth is
finishing up his guest speaker speech and Drew tells him how inspiring he was
and asks him out for coffee to pick his brain. Mr. Hollingsworth will do him
one better and tells him to interview for being his campaign youth advisor.
Alli and Leo did it…they
are married and he asks where they are going to head. She tells him that she
has to go to school and afterward they can celebrate…well so long as they can
do so at her family birthday dinner. Leo is okay with this and comments how they
can share their happy news however Alli says she can’t tell her parents cause
while she is of age and they already said I Do she’s still living under their
roof and can get grounded. Leo tells her she should move in with him however
Alli tells her she can’t and her parents can’t find out because it’s a mistake.
Leo asks if the wedding was a mistake and if Alli was ashamed and they begin to
fight leading Leo to slap Alli and eventually push her out of his car and we
get a PSA cause it’s one of those special episodes.
Maya and Zig do their
presentation where the two of them go off on one another causing Zig to walk
out.
Alli shows up at her house
all beaten up and lies saying she was mugged and doesn’t want to talk about it.
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