Before we go into this episode I just want to remind anyone
reading this that at this point in the series the central characters are in
seventh and eighth grade meaning they are in the 12-14 year old age range…..I
say this because this episode is all about sex. Okay so not all about it. There
is a B plot in which the seventh graders are assigned a project on animals but
for the most part….sex sex sex….
The show opens with Ashley showing Teri the silver chain
that she purchased for her and Jimmy’s eight month anniversary. I didn’t note
if this was before school or if it was in class before people showed up but the
following scene in the cold opening takes place in Kwan’s class. They are about
to read Romeo and Juliet a play that is mentioned numerous times through the
series sometimes with lots and lost of sub textual imagery While this isn’t one
of said episodes, Kwan is assigning roles and Jimmy is Romeo however it’s Paige
not Ashley who is Juliet.
Meanwhile in seventh grade land JT is psyched because Doctor
Sally The sex lady is coming to school to talk to the eighth grade
class and he can’t wait to be old enough to have sex ed. This is when Simpson
gives the animal assignment mentioned above and Emma declares she plans to do
hers on a specific endangered turtle. We
see that Toby is in love with Emma a fact that has been mentioned a few times
previously already and he also plans to write about Turtles so that they have
something in common. Emma likes Sean however and as the episode unfolds she
ends up blowing off seeing a Turtle DVD with Toby, JT and Manny and ends up
helping Liberty with editing and having a moment with Sean. That’s really all I’ll
say about this plot because the sex plot is more juicy anyway
Doctor Sally gives the eighth graders a sex talk and I don’t
know what amuses me about a little old lady talking about erections and placing
condoms on bananas. Spinner asks about his friend who has been in an eight
month relationship and asks when the friend would be ready to do it. Doctor
Sally says physically they are ready for sex now but it’s all about if they are
emotionally ready.
At this point there is lots of talk about how they should
have had sex and I’m like WHAT. They are THIRTEEN and probably in their first
relationship. I’m not saying they have to wait to marriage just perhaps….till
HIGH SCHOOL!
Anyway Paige snarkily comments about how Jimmy gave her a
ceramic heart while Ashley gave him a $50 chain and that she clearly loves
Jimmy more than he loves her.
In Kwan’s class they are reading the play and Paige is
getting all handsy with Jimmy in front of Ashley. After class she all but tells
Ashley she needs to put out before Jimmy leaves her for someone else….someone
like say Paige herself. Seriously I love the girl but she already pushed
Spinner away from Terri and now she’s pushing Jimmy from Ashley….gee wiz.
Ashley invites Jimmy over as her parents are going out and
Toby won’t be home. The plan is to celebrate their anniversary and consummate
their relationship. Jimmy is happy and
tells Spinner he and Ash are going to DO IT while Ashley goes home and shops
for condoms online with Terri since it’s a girls responsibility too! Terri
worries that Ashley wants to give her virginity to Jimmy for the wrong reason….because
she’s scared Paige will snag him. Ashley says it’s not about Paige.
What I assume is the next day Kate is getting ready for her
night out with Jeff as Ashley gets the package of condoms. Telling her mom it’s
‘lady stuff’ Kate just nods assuming it’s pads and leaves for her date. Cut to
Jimmy and Spinner condom shopping and an uber creepy store clerk leering as he
mentions all the different sizes and colors and textures available for her
pleasure….
When Jimmy shows up things start off awkward to the point
Ashley excuses herself to the bathroom telling herself she needs to GROW UP.
Again let me scream YOU ARE THIRTEEN YEARS OLD She comes
back and breaks down saying she’s not as mature as Paige who has a reputation
of having had sex (in reality she was a virgin at the time and the way she loses
it next season…..yea). The ultimately don’t end up doing it and when toby gets
home he’s watching as Jimmy and Ash are making condom balloons.
Jimmy ends up telling Spinner Toby came in before they could
do it while Ashley says they didn’t do it and Jimmy was cool….too cool actually
about not doing it….
This is not the first time that Jimmy and Ashley try and
fail having sex. In fact we have a whole season seven plot about it which
should be an interesting contrast. I don’t know if I’ll link back to this post
when the time comes but the episode title is called ‘It’s Tricky’ so keep an
eye out for it when I get that far along….it’s a doozy.
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